45 days until I pack my luggage.
45 days until my team meets at the launch point.
45 days until I leave for Indonesia.
Where has the time gone?
The excitement on my team is building as we continue to pray and prepare for what God has in store for us. We are amazed by His love as He trains us each personally through the situations of everyday life. He is so good to us!
I was incredibly blessed to have spent a weekend with Team Indonesia in Oregon at the home of our team leaders, Ken and Linda. The time of fellowship was wonderful. We spent time in prayer together and being fed from the word of God. We got to know each other as we prepared our ministry tools and learned more specific details about what it will be like to stay in Indonesia for 3 weeks. I also got to hear about how the rest of my team has been doing with their preparation. It was VERY encouraging. FOUR members of Team Indonesia (out of nine) have raised 100% of their funds. (YAY!) We'll purchase plane tickets soon.
My faith continues to be tested and strengthened through this experience. I wish I could tell you all the ways God is using this to change my heart, but I don't think I could put it all into words. Besides, I'm still learning.
Here's one that I will share:
That is so easy to say! And so not easy to do.
When I say trust God, I don't just mean not worrying. I mean complete and total reliance on Him to provide for my every need and fulfill His purposes for me.
I had foot surgery on April 5th and have been on crutches for almost 4 weeks. If you know me, you know that I hate being limited. Recovering from foot surgery is very limiting. I knew that God was going to use this experience to teach me more about Himself, but I had no idea just how much He would teach me!
I realized how incredibly weak I am.
Not a fun realization.
Not only am I weak physically, but I am weak in every other area as well. I do not have strength in and of myself. My strength comes from Christ alone, and that's a good thing! He is infinitely stronger than I am.
I desperately need Him! Everyday, every moment of my life. I need His provision. I need His love. I need His word. I need His strength. I need Jesus.
Why do I buy into the lie that I am self-sufficient? I'm NOT.
One of the biggest reasons I signed up for this trip is because I knew that it would stretch my comfort zone. I knew that it would force me to rely on God instead of myself.
Even though I haven't left the country yet God has already been asking me to trust Him in ways that are surprisingly hard. I never thought I had a problem with trust, until my trust in His sovereignty was tested.
Here are just a few of the "hard" ways that God has called me to step out in faith:
- My team: The fact that trusting God when it came to my team was hard for me, was very unexpected. I enjoy fellowship with other believers! But I don't enjoy being honestly vulnerable. And I have been very vulnerable with my team. They met me the day that my Grandma died and gave me their support while I grieved, and they served me during the team get-together when I was on crutches. I have been learning to trust God through my brothers and sisters in Christ. I keep being reminded that He demonstrates His love and care through them, and that's it's ok to be vulnerable. It's ok to rely on my team.
- Finances: I made a commitment when I applied for this trip to trust God to provide for my financial needs. When I was considering a trip with YMI my biggest hesitation was finances. Looking back, the greatest way God encouraged me and told me that this trip is really something He has planned for me, was through financial donations. They poured in.
- My Schedule: With a lot on my plate already, I was afraid of not being able to complete YMI assignments. I was afraid that even if I completed the assignments other areas of my everyday life would be neglected. I've had to (and still am having to) trust that God has my day planner, and He knows exactly how He wants me to spend my time. If I'm not able to do something then I have to trust that God has other plans for my time. My job is to serve Him faithfully no matter what. He is in control.
- My foot surgery: This is a big one. The reason that I had the surgery done now was because of the trip to Indonesia. I need to be able to serve without slowing my team down. I knew before I had the surgery that my recovery time might very well extend right up to our departure-but it can't extend beyond our departure or I won't be able to go! Right now I am trusting that God is going to heal my foot completely so I can work in Indonesia without hindrance. This has been a huge test. I am very tempted to worry about whether or not I'll be able to go, but God is faithful and I am trusting Him.
Those are just a few ways, but God has a perfect record. He is always faithful, even if I don't understand His ways. I am excited to see Him provide! He isn't finished stretching, training, and teaching me yet!
God is using this trip to Indonesia to mold me to become more like Himself. That's incredible! My Creator want's to change me to become more like Him.
He is teaching me brand new things about Himself and I'm amazed by who He is.
He is so good.
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
and do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge him
and he will make straight your paths.
Every word of God proves true;
he is a shield to those who take refuge in him.
And those who know your name put their trust in you,
for you, O LORD, have not forsaken those who seek you.
But I have trusted in your steadfast love;
my heart shall rejoice in your salvation.
But I trust in you, O LORD;
I say, “You are my God.”
My times are in your hand