Thursday, March 24, 2011

Fair-weather friends? Back-stabbers?

.....Or simply human?

They say that the ones that you love the most, can hurt you the most. Sounds about right doesn't it?

Your expectations for your close friends and family are going to be a lot higher than your expectations of someone that you barely know. You won't expect the person who drives the garbage truck to be there as a shoulder to cry on, but you will expect your best friend to be there. If someone in passing at the grocery store insults you, you won't be as hurt as you would have been if someone close to you had said it. We depend on those that know us the most, love us the most, and are there for us the most to support us in just about everything. We count on our friends to lift us up, not tear us down. To brighten our day, not make it worse. We count on our friends to be looking out for us over themselves, and we try to do the same. 

I am describing a perfect friendship aren't I? Let's face it, we all know that our friends will let us down. We have all experienced it. And it hurts. Your closest friend(s) can sometimes hurt you more than anyone else ever could. 

If you happen to have amazing friends that love you and care about you a lot and strive to be the best friends they can be (I know I do!) then my earlier description of a best friend comes awfully close to the ones that you have. 

But even though your friends may be absolutely without a doubt the most awesome friends you could ever have, truth is, they are going to hurt you. They will disappoint you, shame you, put you down and hurt your feelings at one time or another. In fact some of my most painful experiences have been because of what a close friend (or family member) did or said to me. Don't get me wrong, I love my friends and family more than anything else in this world and they are awesome, amazing people! But I have come to realize that their not perfect. And I know that I most definitely am not a perfect friend and that I have hurt my friends in big ways before (intentionally or unintentionally).

NEWSFLASH: People are not perfect. 

Nobody is. Except for Jesus Christ! As a Christian I struggle big time with putting my friends on the same level as Jesus. But we can't do that! As soon as you put anything on the same level (or higher) with Jesus you will have a wonderful demonstration of why he is the only one that can satisfy you! Nobody else can live up to our perfect expectations! I'm not saying that Jesus is going to fill our expectations perfectly, because as itty-bitty sinful human beings our expectations are often faulty. What I am saying is that Jesus will never ever let you down. Whether you think he has or not, he hasn't. He is the perfect friend. He always does what is best for us (even when it's painful) and he is always there! People will let you down, but Jesus won't! 

What am I saying? To not trust anyone? No! But what I am saying, is to keep your high hopes in Jesus, to let him guard your heart! If your friends are Christians, then they will be striving to follow Christ's example of what a friend should be. But they are going to mess up, just like you do! If they are not Christian's you cannot expect them to follow Christ example because they are not in tune to His word. Either way, you still need to let Christ be your first and foremost "BFF" (best friend forever) because everyone else will let you down. 

You can still love them, they can still love you. You can (and most certainly should) forgive them, and they can forgive you. You can still be close and know each other better than any other person does. You can still have mentors and people that you look up to. We can still learn from our brothers and sisters in Christ, and Jesus can most certainly use them to teach us things and to show us some of his characteristics. But when you idolize someone or expect them to fill the shoes of Christ in your life, they Will let you down. 

Just remember, Jesus knows your best friend/mentor/family member better than you do. Jesus knows you better than your best friend/mentor/family member does. He is never ever going to say or do something that isn't for your very best. And He loves you more than anybody, I repeat, anybody does, can, or ever will.
Let him be your rock in the storm, he is the only solid thing out there. And he can guard your heart and hold you close faithfully every day if you let him.

Psalm 33:4
 For the word of the LORD is right and true; he is faithful in all he does.

Psalm 89:8
O LORD God Almighty, who is like you? You are mighty, O LORD, and your faithfulness surrounds you.

Phil 4:19
And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.

1 comment:

  1. I totally agree- friends (and family) by far have the most power to cause me pain. I'm working through that process of letting it go and moving on after the loss of what I considered great friends. Always a good reminder that I'm not alone in this either. <3 you!